Boundaries
Better Boundaries 4 lessons 4 workbooks
Better Boundaries - Welcome - video
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Sound familiar?
I know. I have been there. I’d never speak to anyone else the way I used to speak to myself. It was heartbreaking. I knew the answer, but I just could not stop doing it. Until someone taught me the most incredible life hack – and it has transformed everything. And I mean everything. So much so, that I decided to train how to teach this method so I can share it with as many people as possible.
What if you could learn:
☀️ How to quieten the negative narrative?
☀️ How to stop being derailed by judging yourself?
☀️ Build bridges to the emotions you want?
☀️ Stop pushing yourself and learn to relax with more compassion?
What if you could have a reset? Imagine what would be possible if you learnt some mind management tools to put a lid on the self-sabotage and reignite your motivation?
Just imagine if you could wave a magic wand and fix that one thing that is holding you back. Because the things that is holding us back is always the same: our brains.
What if you could train your brain to stop undermining you?
and feel less like you are spinning in indecision?
and this means we can unlearn it
With kindness, laughter and self-compassion. And a large spoonful of social justice and practicality thrown in for good measure.
Why mindset is the key
Why you keep tripping yourself up
Why self-sabotage is a time and energy thief
Why toxic positivity doesn't work
How to train your brain to create habits which serve you
Tools to stop running from your emotions (so you have more time and energy for the important stuff in life)
Alongside other incredible humans
Stop the self-sabotage
to support you in your journey to make peace
From body image to communication to second-guessing ourselves - when we build our confidence we pave a path to self trust.
From scheduling to decision-making to people pleasing, we have courses to guide you through the time and energy sucks which are holding you back.
The way we think changes everything. We teach tools to notice what our brains is telling us, notice the stories we tell ourselves and find ways to take a fresh approaches.
Better Boundaries - Welcome - video
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It can be hard to imagine, can't it?
Instructor Bio:
Confidence coach and empowerment photographer
This is where we learn
☀️ Concrete tools to manage your mind
☀️ Learn how to work out what is really going on
☀️ Manage your brain and your emotions in your favour
☀️ Stop the spiral and decide which way you want to be heading
The lessons, videos, workbooks, and downloadables are all hosted within SelfCareSchoool.co.uk and you can access the welcome pack from the moment you sign up. The private VIP Facebook group is live for you to dip into any time and get coaching from me, report on your progress and stumbles, and have a brilliant community of folk to encourage you back on track. The invite to the group is in your welcome pack. The group calls happen at Wednesday nights 7 pm UK time on zoom, and you will be sent an invite to this in your welcome pack.
The course is based on robust mindset tools. I do not teach anything which I have not used myself and know to be completely transformative. Does that mean it will be transformative for you? Of course not. But what I do know and have learnt is that everything we do or don't do comes from our own brains, and once you have learnt this stuff, you are unstoppable.
The workbooks and videos are self-study so you can work on them in a way which suits your schedule. The calls are around an hour every week. There are be replays available.
Catch up when you can if you want to, there is no obligation. Replays will be available for you in your portal. There is also a form where you can submit questions to be coached on even if you cannot make the call.
We have a VIP Facebook group where people post their queries and revelations for feedback and insights. Facebook is not an essential part of the course (in fact, none of it is), but it all feeds into the course being a hub of learning for different learning styles and needs. We also have community spaces inside the school, so if you are not on Facebook, you do not feel left out. (even though "left out" is just a thought - and one you may want to work on) If you decide you would rather do it solo, you are very welcome to. I believe group coaching is one of the most powerful, transformative learning spaces in the world, and you are welcome here, however you want to show up.
Fair. Facebook is an extra, if you want it, and people get lots out of our special little corner of the internet, but it is not essential for the course- it is a bonus, should you wish to have it.
It's actually kinda the opposite: Taking control of your reactions is the opposite of rolling over. Taking full responsibility for any situation gives you your agency and power back. There is no better place to find than with a group of caring people all working on their own unique journey; it is full of inspiration and empathy and is fertile ground for you to stop and think about what is important to you. If you know how to get there - incredible. If you don't think you'll ever get over it - we've got you. Still trying to figure out where to begin? Let's start together. Then this is the perfect place to uncover what is stopping you from moving forward at the pace you know you deserve. And maybe it is not someone else you want to forgive. Perhaps it is yourself when you messed up, or you've been telling your body it is letting you down, or you cannot stop thinking if you had made that one choice, things would all be so different. Let's stop fantasising about choices from the past being the things which could grant us happiness when we can grant it for ourselves. I teach you how to uncover what is lurking behind your distractions and to be able to notice the patterns which have been holding you back. You need to develop the skill of awareness of your beliefs about yourself and others to understand how your life is unfolding. This course is not about some quick fix pretending it never happened; I teach you to understand the desire driving your behaviour, so you can decide where you want to accelerate and where you might want to hit the brakes.
The magic of this work is that it will immediately address the most significant obstacle holding you back in your life. It does not matter where you are, what your background is or how you arrive at this work; the thing that is causing you not to be where you want to be - that is the thing your brain is going to start looking at, frankly, to prove me wrong. So it can feel right and SAFE. But the more you look at what is keeping you from what you want in life, through the lens of these tools, the more you can clearly see that just because something is familiar, that does not mean it is something you still need to cling to. Maybe other thoughts could be possible. The group is intentionally mixed abilities of people who come in with a fresh mind and people who have been using these tools since I first began to teach them. And we all learn SO MUCH from each other, from our different life experiences, and from that eye-opening moment where you hear someone else vocalising what you thought had been your own secret little story you have not yet put into words. And when the fear, the imposter syndrome and the doubts all come up, you will be surrounded by a team of people cheering you on and guiding you back to the safe shores of remembering that all of us are worthy.
I know that you believe nothing can help, but what if something else could be possible? Would it not be worth trying?
I hear you. Tsundoku is the Japanese word for buying more books than you will ever be able to read in your lifetime. I think we need a version for online courses. And here is why this course is still worth signing up for. The fact that it is online means that many different people from many different places and walks of life can gather, from the comfort of their homes, to learn from each other. The vibrant mix of humans from so many different backgrounds with different life experiences, all learning, relating and cheering each other on, is like nothing I have ever found on the internet. It is an incredible space. Don't just take my word for it. Read the testimonials. I understand in-person has many benefits, and for accessibility, so does online. And you never have to worry about the journey home.
Firstly, what are the results you are getting from this thought? How does it make you feel? I think investing money in our mental and emotional health and well-being is the best investment of our lives because everything we do or don't do comes from our brains. I also acknowledge that structural oppression exists, as does general wealth and privilege, and many oppressions come with a lot of additional expenses. I am not interested in creating work which replicates systems which got us here in the first place. I want people to be able to access my work, whatever their finances because this stuff is utterly transformative. Which is why I offer bursary spaces for my work. It is a practice in receiving. You'll need to ask for one, but anyone who needs a free space can actually get access to the work. This is also why I offer a forward option: the community can support each other to access the tools they need to create their own breakthroughs. See the pricing options for more details.
Coaching is one of those words which is attached to lots of different things, and it can be hard to know what you are getting into. So this question makes perfect sense. When I discovered the model, which was formed by Brooke Castillo, based loosely on an amalgamation of some psychology techniques, and old philosophy and heavily influenced by the work of Byron Katie, I felt like I had found the missing piece of the jigsaw. When I heard it being taught through a social justice lens which acknowledges privileges and oppressions by my teacher Kara Lowenthiel, I felt like I had been given the keys to my own brain. And then, in true Anna style, I tried to break it. I threw all of my worst, deepest, most shameful, most frightening stories at the process with the attitude of "Yeah? But what about THIS?" Each time, I peeled back a layer and was shown my brain and my own choices. Will coaching be the magic solution you have been searching for? Only you know the answer to that. What I can tell you is that I spent my entire adult life and most of my adult income trying to find things to "fix" me. And this is the one thing that taught me that maybe I was not broken after all. Maybe I am just a human out there doing my best with what I know. Coaching has been the single best investment of my whole life. That is why I invested in it at university level fees to train how to hold space for whatever you need me to hold with you. And this is why I am willing to put myself out there time and time and time again to tell you about this work. Because I genuinely believe with all of my heart that this work changes lives.
If you are interested in self-development and self-care, the chances are that you have probably already tried a lot of things, and if you are reading this far, I am guessing that some of them worked and some of them didn't but that none of them gave you the tools you were looking for. I can hand-on-heart tell you I tried all of the things. I spent most of my adult life income on looking for stuff that worked. And this is the thing which turned up so many repeated results for me that I decided to train in it. But rather than me insist that it worked for me, so it will definitely work for everyone, I invite you to get curious. What could be possible for you if you made this decision from a place of "What if this works" rather than "What if it doesn't?".
If you do not have time to do the things you want to do, then that is a problem, right? And if you continue to do what you are doing, you will create more of what you are already getting. Something has to change. How much time do you waste being unkind to yourself? Judging yourself? Getting mixed up in other people's stories? In indecision? What if you could spend one hour a week for one-month learning tools which could change your whole life? What if this was the path which could empower you to make the changes in your life so that you can say yes to everything you want to? No one ever taught us how to use our brains. They just taught us how to use them as storage bins. Managing your mind is a skill and one you can learn. And once you learn to create your own results, you can do so again and again. I used to think I didn't have time. Now I do the things I want to when I want to. This mindset fix taught me how.
Counselling is brilliant, and an important part of many people’s journey (including my own) and it generally focuses a lot on things in the past which have resulted in where we are today. Coaching looks at where we are currently and where we want to be and supports you to draw a map to get there.
"I’ve had my fair share." "I shouldn’t take more than I already have." "I think someone else deserves it more." Does any of that sound familiar? I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it is to ask for help when you need it most lately. My body has been unruly my whole life, but more so as an adult. I spent three years unable to walk, I have gone through various points in my life where my sight would stop working, and I’ve had spells where my arms hung loosely by my sides for months at a time, and I needed aides to help me do excruciating upheaval tasks such as opening a door. I know what it is like to feel like you’re tired of asking for help. Sometimes I feel it is rooted in not wanting to be seen as a victim. I want to tough it out and prove your independence and that you can make it on your own. Most often, I think it is about this fear that if you ask for support, someone else will have less support. Like it is a help cake, and you stole someone else’s slice. Time, support and compassion don’t divvy up that way, and yet we guilt our way into thinking we are doing someone else out of their fair share (whilst ignoring that our plate is also empty). Maybe it is more difficult because if you have ever been overlooked, you have more empathy to try and make sure no one else feels like that. It is just curious this rarely extends to ourselves. But I fear one of the most common reasons people who need support the most are hesitant to ask for it is that we never know when we may need that help more – and we don’t want the goodwill pot to run dry. It can often feel like you have an allotted number of times you can reach out or ask for help or support before you become a burden or, heaven forbid, a nuisance. I run my work on an if you can, if you can’t and if you need basis. It flies in the face of every business planning class I have ever done – and yet – it works. It works because I know that by making my work more accessible, more people who need it can have it in their lives. By offering photoshoots to anyone who needs them – and they can decide what price bracket they fall into, I suddenly open doors to people to be able to make choices based on their own circumstances and still have the good things in life. The magical extras that feel like indulgent treats and make us feel like self-care is indulgent rather than the oil that lubricates the wheel.
I understand you may believe you are the only one who has brain spaghetti, but in reality, it is more common than people with crystal clear, razor-sharp, A-B, no distractions brains. Nearly everyone believes they have too much to work on, and they, like you, are worried that if they pull on one thread, the entire thing will unravel. But in truth, it is nearly always the same core thoughts behind everything we do: we are worried we do not feel safe, loved or accepted. This is lurking behind most of our thoughts. And whichever is your nemesis will show up in lots of other things you do too. So this means you only need to untangle all of your thoughts in one go. If you look at one, it will give you tremendous insights into other areas of your life.
Amazing noticing, friend. Seriously. It is by noticing which emotions are coming up for us that we get to decide which ones we would like to keep and which ones we want to decide to release. Can you identify which thought is behind "I am frightened"? And are there other places in your life this shows up? Rather than thinking about what could go wrong, is there space for you to try and spend as much time thinking about what could go right? What if this was the thing that helped you to live your life less dominated by fear?
When you get coached for yourself, you bring along all of your old stories and brain gremlins with you, whereas when you watch someone else get coached, you are not so defensive, so you can watch how brains work without feeling the need to justify yourself. It is hard to understand how powerful this can be until you experience it, but most people on the course say this is some of the most powerful work. There is something incredibly humbling and healing about watching someone with a very different life to your vocalise your deepest secrets in their way when you may have suspected you were the only one thinking this stuff. It connects us and frees us from feeling like we are somehow uniquely broken. It is by far some of the most transformative work of my life.
That's great you're so enthusiastic about the work. We can definitely do that. Just contact me for options.
One of the common misconceptions about self-development is that it is self-indulgent navel-gazing. I hate to break it to you if that is what you have been seeking, but mindset work is HARD. Coaching is about finding the right questions to guide you to finding your own answers. It is about picking apart your assumptions and investigating your belief systems. It is unravelling those stories we tell ourselves over and over again and working out which ones we want to rewrite. And it is the opposite of selfish. Because when one of us ceases self-sabotage and commutes to shining in our best light, we all benefit. When you reclaim all that energy you spend being mean to yourself, you get momentum to focus on the stuff that is really important to you, like your friends, your family, reading that book or fighting climate change. What could you achieve if you harvest all the time you spent undermining yourself?
I like to think of this work as me reading all the self-help books, so you do not have to. I am a certified life coach through The Life Coach School, considered one of the most reputable training schools in the world. I hold CPCAP Counselling and Psychotherapy Level / Counselling and Psychotherapy European Qualifications Framework Level and Systematic Coaching with Constellations Level 1. What do these bits of paper mean? Well, in truth, very little. I have also invested a heap of money, time and commitment to learning the methodology I teach. But if you know what this could mean for you, read some of the testimonials that pepper this page.
I offer bursary places on all the courses, so you need to let me know which ones you are interested in and let me know if you would like a space.
Absolutely. You can listen to the weekly workshops in your own time, and you can rewatch the group calls in the portal.
No problem! That's what the members-only Facebook group is for, and I am regularly there answering questions.
My darling, if only you knew how many of us have felt like this. And that it does not have to be your only story. After coaching hundreds of people, I started to notice a pattern: this one thing is most people's deepest fear. And when we can see that most people feel like this, we can explore the idea that maybe it is not us that is the problem and what we want to do about it.
You get immediate access to the Self Sabotage Solution workbook and videos. As soon as you sign up, you will have access to the VIP Facebook group and can begin connecting with your classmates (and me!).