SelfCareSchool

I hear you. Tsundoku is the Japanese word for buying more books than you will ever be able to read in your lifetime. I think we need a version for online courses. And here is why this course is still worth signing up for. The fact that it is online means that many different people from many different places and walks of life can gather, from the comfort of their homes, to learn from each other. The vibrant mix of humans from so many different backgrounds with different life experiences, all learning, relating and cheering each other on, is like nothing I have ever found on the internet. It is an incredible space. Don't just take my word for it. Read the testimonials. I understand in-person has many benefits, and for accessibility, so does online. And you never have to worry about the journey home. And maybe you do not have to finish every thing to still get what you need from it?

Firstly, what are the results you are getting from this thought? How does it make you feel? I think investing money in our mental and emotional health and well-being is the best investment of our lives because everything we do or don't do comes from our brains. I also acknowledge that structural oppression exists, as does general wealth and privilege, and many oppressions come with a lot of additional expenses. I am not interested in creating work which replicates systems which got us here in the first place. I want people to be able to access my work, whatever their finances because this stuff is utterly transformative. Which is why I offer bursary spaces for my work. It is a practice in receiving. You'll need to ask for one, but anyone who needs a free space can actually get access to the work. This is also why I offer a forward option: the community can support each other to access the tools they need to create their own breakthroughs. See the pricing options for more details.

If you are interested in self-development and self-care, the chances are that you have probably already tried a lot of things, and if you are reading this far, I am guessing that some of them worked and some of them didn't but that none of them gave you the tools you were looking for. I can hand-on-heart tell you I tried all of the things. I spent most of my adult life income on looking for stuff that worked. And this is the thing which turned up so many repeated results for me that I decided to train in it. But rather than me insist that it worked for me, so it will definitely work for everyone, I invite you to get curious. What could be possible for you if you made this decision from a place of "What if this works" rather than "What if it doesn't?".

If you do not have time to do the things you want to do, then that is a problem, right? And if you continue to do what you are doing, you will create more of what you are already getting. Something has to change. How much time do you waste being unkind to yourself? Judging yourself? Getting mixed up in other people's stories? In indecision? What if you could spend one hour a week for one-month learning tools which could change your whole life? What if this was the path which could empower you to make the changes in your life so that you can say yes to everything you want to? No one ever taught us how to use our brains. They just taught us how to use them as storage bins. Managing your mind is a skill and one you can learn. And once you learn to create your own results, you can do so again and again. I used to think I didn't have time. Now I do the things I want to when I want to. This mindset fix taught me how.

Counselling is brilliant, and an important part of many people’s journey (including my own) and it generally focuses a lot on things in the past which have resulted in where we are today. Coaching looks at where we are currently and where we want to be and supports you to draw a map to get there.

"I’ve had my fair share." "I shouldn’t take more than I already have." "I think someone else deserves it more." Does any of that sound familiar? I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it is to ask for help when you need it most lately. My body has been unruly my whole life, but more so as an adult. I spent three years unable to walk, I have gone through various points in my life where my sight would stop working, and I’ve had spells where my arms hung loosely by my sides for months at a time, and I needed aides to help me do excruciating upheaval tasks such as opening a door. I know what it is like to feel like you’re tired of asking for help. Sometimes I feel it is rooted in not wanting to be seen as a victim. I want to tough it out and prove your independence and that you can make it on your own. Most often, I think it is about this fear that if you ask for support, someone else will have less support. Like it is a help cake, and you stole someone else’s slice. Time, support and compassion don’t divvy up that way, and yet we guilt our way into thinking we are doing someone else out of their fair share (whilst ignoring that our plate is also empty). Maybe it is more difficult because if you have ever been overlooked, you have more empathy to try and make sure no one else feels like that. It is just curious this rarely extends to ourselves. But I fear one of the most common reasons people who need support the most are hesitant to ask for it is that we never know when we may need that help more – and we don’t want the goodwill pot to run dry. It can often feel like you have an allotted number of times you can reach out or ask for help or support before you become a burden or, heaven forbid, a nuisance. I run my work on an if you can, if you can’t and if you need basis. It flies in the face of every business planning class I have ever done – and yet – it works. It works because I know that by making my work more accessible, more people who need it can have it in their lives. By offering photoshoots to anyone who needs them – and they can decide what price bracket they fall into, I suddenly open doors to people to be able to make choices based on their own circumstances and still have the good things in life. The magical extras that feel like indulgent treats and make us feel like self-care is indulgent rather than the oil that lubricates the wheel.

Knowing where to start is my job, not yours. You get to come as you are. You may believe you are the only one who has brain spaghetti, but in reality, it is more common than people with crystal clear, razor-sharp, A-B, no distractions brains. Nearly everyone believes they have too much to work on, and they, like you, are worried that if they pull on one thread, the entire thing will unravel. But in truth, it is nearly always the same core thoughts behind everything we do: we are worried we do not feel safe, loved or accepted. This is lurking behind most of our thoughts. And whichever is your nemesis will show up in lots of other things you do too. So this means you only need to untangle all of your thoughts in one go. If you look at one, it will give you tremendous insights into other areas of your life.

Amazing noticing, friend. Seriously. It is by noticing which emotions are coming up for us that we get to decide which ones we would like to keep and which ones we want to decide to release. Can you identify which thought is behind "I am frightened"? And are there other places in your life this shows up? Rather than thinking about what could go wrong, is there space for you to try and spend as much time thinking about what could go right? What if this was the thing that helped you to live your life less dominated by fear?